HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
