what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
