i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
