The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The Olympian is in my bed
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
