i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
