She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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