So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
