when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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