you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
