he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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