it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No subtext here. People are naked.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I lost the right to judge tonight
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
