I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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