I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
