I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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