Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
time to smoke my breakfast
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
