Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
