I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
