I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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