There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
