I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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