i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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