party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Duck Duck Cougar?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
