let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
