last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
