I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
