we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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