oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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