I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
