At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
