why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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