4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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