I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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