Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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