Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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