You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
