i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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