based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
