I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
