I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
