Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
