We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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