bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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