girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
