i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
