She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
