OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
