This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
