no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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