is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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