did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
